Become the Parent you want to be
For the sake of your kids
Parenting can be tough!
More people than you may think struggle with parenting and their idea of themselves as a parent, on a daily basis which can bring up uncomfortable feelings and stress.
You may be successful at work or other areas of your life and can appear to have everything sorted. Perhaps you’re the only one who knows the true extent of your inner struggle.
Parenting can press your buttons like nothing else, bringing up feelings & thoughts that surprise you. It can bring out things in you that you never thought were there or hoped weren’t there.
Our idea of what life was going to be like when people said “you’ll make a great dad” or “you’ll make a great mum” is far from what we face on a daily basis.
…it’s tough being a parent sometimes…
It is stressful when we have an idea of how things should go and then reality is just so different. We do things we said we would never do…then we feel guilty or ashamed…then perhaps we want to escape and we can do this in helpful and unhelpful ways. Perhaps we make an excuse of work or other commitments and our kids begin to get raised by extended family, child minders, the school system, after school activities, play stations, iPads, youtube and TV.
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Hi, I’m Sofia, a divorced mum of four kids. From before my first wee miracle was born, their dad and I were taking parenting classes to prepare for them: How do we give this little person the best start in life…breast or formula…cuddle them to sleep or put them down to sleep…baby languages…baby sign language…then more parenting books and courses learning about the toddler years…discipline… building personal responsibility…boundaries…consequences, positive parenting… and as they grow, the list goes on.
But nothing prepared me for the times I would fail my kids - the people who mean more to me than anything in the world.
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We all have our story
Whether we have one child, four or fifteen…if we have never been married, are still married, bereaved or divorced. Whether our kids are healthy, sick, have a disability or a diagnosis.
In the midst of one of the hardest times in my life with my kids and now ex-husband, a time I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue to live, I was helped by a number of friends and mentors and it was their support, along with learning tools and a map for how to move forward that got me through.
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The thing that made all the difference
This lead me to learn about how painful memories such as adverse childhood events (ACES), accidents, difficult birth experiences, miscarriages, ongoing life stressors and other traumatic events can get encoded in the brain in such a way that they cause ‘triggers’ to form. These are the pressure points that lead us to act without thinking. These are also the things which when ‘disconnected’ can dramatically change our experience of life, how we parent and how we cope with stressors.
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When I experienced the Havening Techniques® the difference in my day to day life was night and day. I no longer wake up dreading the day and my daily anxiety reduced dramatically. I also found an increasing ability to roll with the daily challenges that parenting inevitably brings.
Building on years of helping people heal and move their lives forward I now offer a 3, 6 and 12 week Parents Package, which combines Havening Techniques® with stress and resilience coaching. The packages are designed using the latest and most efficient techniques to support parents, help them find and resolve events and memories that can hang like a dark cloud over their life and gain the tools, perspectives and understandings that can help them be the parents they want to be.
This is a package designed with you and for you.
It’s for you as a person. It’s to help you heal, build resilience and focus on who you want to be as a parent. Parenting is tough enough without also carrying the weight of painful past events and heavy emotions.
Parenting will always have it’s challenges and my goal is to help you deal with any ongoing stressors so that you are more equipped to respond the way you want to on a day to day basis.
There are plenty of great parenting courses if you want to learn tools to deal with bedtimes, not eating, disrespectful teens etc.
This is not that.
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What areas can this help with?
Chronic emotions that can affect you: Anger, anxiety, depression, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, frustration, powerlessness, etc
Past experiences: Accidents, Adverse Childhood Experiences, divorce, traumatic events such as being attacked or watching something terrible happen to someone else, painful birthing experience or post birth experiences, phobias.
Ongoing stress: Dealing with the daily challenges of parenting and understanding why certain things your children do affect you so much and then using techniques to decrease these stressors and increase your resilience and ability to chose your responses in the moment.
Increase frequency of positive emotions: Discovering what the emotions are you would like to experience more on a day to day basis and implementing the techniques and strategies that will make that a reality for you.
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If you have a question about getting help with something not listed then please get in touch.
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What you can expect
After you get in touch, we will set up a time to meet. Then together we can look at the areas of your past and/or present life that are impacting on your parenting, the things your child(ren) do that cause the most stress for you and make a plan for how to move you towards having the responses you want to have and being the parent you know you want to be. This is about you having more control of you. You get to feel more happy with who you are as a parent, content with how you have decided to parent and feel more equipped to respond to whatever your kids throw at you or need from you. From this discussion we can look at which package will be best suited to your needs.
My ultimate goal is to help parents, so far as it depends on them, to have the relationship they want to have with their kids through the growing up years and then afterwards through the rest of their lives.
If this is something you want then do get in touch.
Wishing you all the best,
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Sofia
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